In the year 2007, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Canada, and said, ´Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.´ He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, ´You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.´
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. ´Noah!´ He roared , ´I´m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?´
´Forgive me, Lord,´ begged Noah, ´but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I´ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I´ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Electric Company demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark´s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There´s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the Ministry of the Environment ruled that I couldn´t build the Ark until they´d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I´m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I´m supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization are checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can´t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, Revenue Canada seized all my assets, claiming I´m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.´
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, ´You mean you´re not going to destroy the world?´
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